Go west, young man!

It's been awhile. Guess I didn't have much too say. Sandy, who is reading this over my shoulder just collapsed to the floor laughing and gasping for air. My son, Dustin, whom I love like a son, recently migrated to southern California, where, I believe, he may be the only legal citizen there. He is following his dream of getting into the film industry by going to where the action is.
The actual move to California took place a couple of weeks ago, and we received almost daily updates via cell phone. The calls, obviously, were not placed by the children, but by their mother, whom, I think, is suffering from an industrial case of empty nest syndrome, no that one of her offspring is technically in what has to qualify as another country, if not actual planet. We as parents, got lots of valuable information should we ever decide to drive to California, in a car that is definitely bigger than abreadbox. Prior to the move, Dustin, in a rare fit of maturity (just kidding here, Dustin, don't crucify me in one of your film projects, heh, heh) purchased an environmentally friendly vehicle called I believe, a "Yaris"? The name comes from the ancient Latin phrase "Yar" which means "extremely" and "is" meaning "molecule sized vehicle." The slogan of the car which is produced by Toyota, is "the vehicle toddlers love to drive!"
My boy loaded up the Yaris with all the belongings that would fit into the car for the trip west. Those belongings consisted of essentially, a pair of sneakers, an Ipod and his cell phone. He probably could have squeezed a couple of more kleenex into the vehicle, but he had to make concessions due to the fact that he was being accompanied on his trek by his big sister and brother in law.
They traveled through Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and Nevada. Evidently this route was educationally, culturally and scenically intensive. For example, Dustin had the experience of encountering his first rattlesnake. This was, as you might imagine, a highly frightening experience for a young lad from Ohio, even thought the snake was, technically deceased. The kids finally determined this using their highly developed and college education enhanced sense of logic. They observed several key facts: First, if it was indeed a rattlesnake, why had there been no sound of rattling like they had seen on so many episodes of "Bonanza?" Second, and this is closely tied to the first, why was the reptile not actually moving? Third, and possibly the deciding observation in determining that the snake was definitely "post mortem" was the fact that it was essentially, and I am using the scientific term here, "flat as a pancake!"
Other things they learned in their travels? Well, they know where the absolute worst buffet on the planet exists, which is some casino in New Mexico. They also were able to determine, again relying upon their keen powers of observation that the Grand Canyon was a "really big hole" in the ground and that Death Valley is technically "hot".
I am sure they had many other exciting and educational experiences, however, I am afraid Sandy and I will never know, as there are still some things, no matter how old your are, you just don't tell your parents. All that aside, I must say, that I was extremely jealous of the kids adventures as I remember the 70's when everyone was going to buy a van (gas was a tad cheaper then) and drive to California and see the country. Of course, that never happened as I got out of the service, and got married, almost immediately (I knew that I had to grab Sandy quickly as I would never find another women so nearsighted or intoxicated enough to agree to marry me. Also, the sobbing helped.) and started a family. So my congratulations go out to the kids and Dave (Dave is the son in law who decided not to participate in the purchase of my Christmas present last year, but I forgive him) for having the guts to get out of their comfort zone and see something of this great country. As usual, the kids have made their folks proud.

Love,
Dad